


scared of the dark

by glamouroki



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Blood and Injury, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Gangs, Guns, Illegal Activities, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor References to Child Abandonment, Murder, Romance, Violence, i made joshua unnecessarily sexy in this, jeonghan is a sweetheart, mafia, this is inspired by the anime bungou stray dogs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:13:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glamouroki/pseuds/glamouroki
Summary: Unbeknownst to what most people would think, Jeonghan's commitment to his gang isn't out of loyalty, despite loyalty being the prime foundation of the mafia code.When the leader of the most infamous organisation in the country questions his allegiance and offers him a tempting deal, it leaves Jeonghan wondering whether he should stick to what he's always been used to or make a life-changing decision as to where his loyalties should really lie.It isn't very helpful that said leader seems to possess the ability to have anyone wrapped around his finger. And before Jeonghan even realises it, he's already falling.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 18
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of purely fiction. I do not own any of the characters, and in no means does this fic reflect the lives of any real life characters in the story.
> 
> If anyone likes BSD too, I've written tons of soukoku fanfics on this account that you can check out!! ^^

"Do you have your earpieces on?" Jeonghan asks, turning around to eye his two subordinates. "Hansol?"

"Just a sec," Hansol mutters, grumbling under his breath when the earpiece he's fumbling with falls out again despite his numerous attempts to put it on. Jeonghan sighs, fingers already reaching out to help hook the earpiece in Hansol's ear securely.

Hansol murmurs a quick thanks and Jeonghan has to resist a small smile as he backs away, putting on the most serious expression he can muster. It doesn't help that he has a soft spot for his younger subordinates either, consisting of teenagers he'd taken care of since they've been recruited into the gang.

"These earpieces are safety precautions. It'll be used to communicate and guide you through the mission. Youngchul has already hacked the surveillance cameras, so your every move will be watched. Listen to each command given to you, and only if you're in an emergency you can't handle alone, alert the others for help. Understood?"

"Understood." Mingyu answers affirmatively. Hansol nods along earnestly, eyes shining with an eagerness that looks familiar to Jeonghan. An eagerness to please, to ensure this mission they've been tasked to deal with ends well. Especially since the three of them are going to be part of the team that'll be out on the field later. 

"And—" 

"Put on our gloves. We know, hyung." interrupts Mingyu, purposely ignoring the look Jeonghan sends him, followed by the click of his tongue. It's protocol to be respectful when talking to superiors within the gang unless you want your tongue chopped off, but Jeonghan's always been a bit lenient with them, and their relationship isn't solely based on superior and subordinate. If Jeonghan's feeling cheesy, he'd like to think they could be considered family. 

Jeonghan unzips a duffle bag on the table, taking a gun out of its compartment and loads it with ammunition before tossing it at Mingyu, who catches it with ease. "I suppose I don't need to recite the rules on how to use a gun while on the field, do I?" he says, loading two more guns and passes one to Hansol. 

"Also, make sure to listen to every order through your earpiece very carefully, you know what happens if you disobey—"

"You've already said that part," Mingyu whines impatiently. "We understand, hyung. This isn't the first time we've been on a infiltration mission."

Jeonghan releases another sigh. "This mission is different," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "We may be allies with Red Code and this may be a joint mission between our gangs, but we can never really let our guard down around a former enemy. This alliance might be temporary, for all we know. And Black Sun have such an infamous reputation for a reason. If we fail, it'll be a huge loss on our part. One we might never be able to recover from."

"That's true," Hansol hums in agreement. But then he looks up at Jeonghan with his wide eyes. "Although I think the mission will go well if you're around, Jeonghan-hyung. You've never failed a mission before."

"Boss once said you were very efficient despite being so young." Mingyu pipes up. "You're so cool, hyung." 

"Now is not the time to be flattering me, brats." Jeonghan chuckles, succumbing to his urge to ruffle Mingyu and Hansol's hair. "Ready your gear and make sure everything is where it should be so we can finally get going." 

"Yes, sir." the two chorus in unison, placing their guns in their holsters. Hansol makes sure to grab a few daggers since he's more accustomed to using those in combat rather than shooting a handgun. Jeonghan lets them be and adjusts his earpiece again, instantly picking up the noise of a line crackling in his ear. 

_"Can you hear my voice, Jeonghan?"_

"Yes, sir." Jeonghan replies to the familiar voice of one of his superiors. "We've just arrived at our destination. Like you said, there aren't many guards patrolling this warehouse." 

_"Excellent. Everything's still going according to plan, then."_ his superior says, and Jeonghan can already envision the satisfied smirk the older man must have on his face. _"And what about the operation? The bomb?"_

"The bomb's with us. Some of Red Code's guys just went in to scout the area outside the fence." Jeonghan explains, "We'll be going in right now." 

_"You know what the boss will do if this mission doesn't succeed. Need I tell you that, or are you already aware?"_

Jeonghan licks his dry lips and quickly swallows the lump in his throat. "I'm aware." he responds evenly, and his superior doesn't say anything more. 

They exit the mini-bus and stealthily cross the street, passing through the damaged gap between the fence created by Red Code earlier. The fence is about eight feet tall and has installed electric wire that's definitely going to hurt like a bitch if come in contact with, but Red Code has successfully made a way for them to sneak in without sounding any alarms, which have been hacked by their team prior to the operation.

Jeonghan sees the guys from Red Code and their own gang standing outside the warehouse's entrance and approaches them. He glances at the three men laying on the ground before raising an eyebrow, "Are they dead or just unconscious?" 

"Unconscious. But they'll probably die soon anyway after we blow this place up." one of them remarks. 

"Did you fire any guns?" 

"Of course not. The bullets are saved for later when we get inside. There are most likely more guards in there." 

Jeonghan crosses his arms. "You've already taken out all the guards patrolling outside the warehouse?" he asks, scanning their surroundings. The outside is bare and the atmosphere looks almost post-apocalyptic. 

"Twelve of them." another confirms. 

"And not one of them managed to contact backup before you knocked them out?" 

"Doesn't matter. The backup won't arrive in time if we fucking hurry this up." a guy from Red Code in his early thirties with scars scattered all over his biceps and arms scowls, glaring at him. He's probably unhappy about the whole idea of a joint operation with a gang they used to be enemies with. Just as Jeonghan is. He's already feeling dissatisfied with how Red Code is handling this mission so carelessly. 

If they get caught, god knows what'd Black Sun would do to them for trying to break into one of their warehouses and steal their weapon and drug supply.

From what Jeonghan's heard, the reason why they've rose to power several years ago is due to their change of leader and strategies. Black Sun have recently been in war with a long-time rival and while they may have been the one to emerge victorious and left their rival gang in nothing but ashes, they still need time to recollect the pieces and recover from the losses in manpower and supplies they've suffered. 

They're vulnerable at the moment as they rebuild their empire which rules over Korea, so now is presumably the best time for other gangs to strike back— hence this joint mission. Jeonghan initially disapproved of it, though it's not like he has much of a say in what the boss and higher-ups decide to do. Either way, he'd be the one doing the most dangerous part of the job nonetheless. 

But being uncooperative with their now allies isn't going to accomplish the mission, and Jeonghan's boss expects to be pleased with the outcome of this operation in less than three hours. Furthermore, Jeonghan's been in the gang long enough to know they'd be in trouble if their boss gets angry.

"You have the bomb?" 

"It's in this bag." Jeonghan says, lifting a black duffle bag. The bag is with him, since he's the one in charge of leaving the bomb inside the warehouse after they get everything they need. He catches glimpses of the members of Red Code casting him disapproving looks, some also looking puzzled or irritated. 

Jeonghan can guess why. He's nineteen years old, and frankly, they don't think someone that young can do the job. But what they don't know is Jeonghan's been a gang member since he was eleven, so he's probably got more experience than half of them present do. 

Someone snaps the chain connecting the door handles together with a set of bolt cutters and it drops to the ground with a soft thud. 

"Be on guard." a senior member from their gang orders, and Jeonghan nods as they slowly pull open the warehouse's double doors. 

The bullets start flying through the air immediately. They march in without much hesitancy, and the startled guards inside the warehouse drop like flies after getting shot. Blood begins pooling on the ground, but most of it belong to Black Sun's members anyway. Inside the warehouse are loads and loads of tables, some filled with drugs in various packaging and some with weapons that'd be useful for their gangs. They get to work, unzipping the empty bags they'd brought and stuffing it all in. 

It's thrilling. Stealing from a dangerous rival's armoury and drug storage area. 

Hansol skips over the body of an unconscious guard and looks over at him. "Hyung, do we have to take everything? There's still a lot." 

"Take what you can or whatever you see that looks important. Documents. Weapons. Whatever it be." Jeonghan instructs. It's been more than an hour since they've been here, and what they've found would surely be enough. 

"We're done!" someone yells, "Set the bomb timer and let's get out of here." 

Jeonghan unzips the duffle bag, carefully carrying out the bomb they'd brought and sticks it on one of the pillars supporting the inside of the warehouse. He's just finished setting the timer to countdown eight minutes when a loud crash coming from outside makes his blood go icy cold. 

The double doors burst open. A group of men dressed in black from head to toe charge in, armed with rifles. They're easily outnumbered like this. From the crowd of men emerges a young man standing at the front, expression blank and calm despite being the only one not wielding any weapons. 

Jeonghan looks around. Hansol and Mingyu are still with him along with several members from their gang, but everyone from Red Code seems to have vanished. 

The young man raises a hand and snaps his fingers. The sound is loud and crystal clear. "Fire." is all he says, and a flurry of gunshots fill the air. 

"Get down!" the words leave Jeonghan's mouth in the form of a hurried, panicked shout as he, Hansol and Mingyu all hit the floor just in time as the gunshots fire. From the corner of his eye he sees several from their gang get shot in the head before dropping to the ground in a heap. They'd been dead before their bodies even touched the floor. 

Jeonghan grabs one of the pistols scattered on the ground and fires it at several of the men closest to him. Screams resound throughout the warehouse, and Jeonghan manages to crawl over to the pillar with the ticking time bomb through the haze of bullets. He gets shot on the side of his leg and a pained scream nearly rips out of his throat had he not restrained himself by biting down on his bottom lip so hard he almost draws blood. 

Seven minutes until this whole place blows up. Definitely not enough time for Jeonghan to figure out how to defuse a bomb.

The whole mission has gone to absolute shit. There was supposed to be backup from Red Code on watch outside the warehouse and they would instantly be alerted through their earpieces. Jeonghan taps his earpiece again, but the line on the other end is completely dead. He swears under his breath, the state of his mind being a complete mess at the moment as he desperately tries to come up with a quick escape plan that doesn't involve any of them getting badly injured. 

"Three more left." the young man standing at the front who appears to be the superior states, abruptly raising a hand. Jeonghan cranes his neck slowly, and everyone from their gang except for Mingyu, Hansol and himself seem to be dead, laying in a pool of their own blood. Unfortunately, Hansol got shot once in the shoulder, and the pistol Jeonghan has with him had just run out of bullets. 

The gunfire sounds finally cease. The young man picks up one of the spare guns laying around and checks its ammunition while a few more men wordlessly step forward, grabbing Mingyu and pulling his arms behind his back. Mingyu attempts to fight back, even successfully decking one of them in the face within two seconds but then a white cloth seemingly filled with toxin chemical covers his mouth and Mingyu faints, going slack in their grip. 

Two men in black enter Jeonghan's line of view, roughly tugging him by the arms and holding him in a vice grip. He feels his earpiece being removed, the grip on his arms is tight and bruising, even making him wince a little. Moreover, the pain on his leg is reaching the point of unbearable. 

The young man approaches Hansol now, who's still lying on the ground, body twitching and fighting the urge not to pass out. At least not now. The young man looks down at him like he's scum, mercilessly stomping on Hansol's hand with his shoe when Hansol tries to move, eliciting a soft groan from him. 

He casts a side glance at Mingyu, and then Jeonghan. His eyes are cold. "None of them look like they're over twenty," he points out. "So they're sending teenagers out to steal from us now?" 

"Should we kill them all, sir?" 

The young man nods. "It's what the boss ordered," he says, pointing his gun at Hansol's head. 

Jeonghan sees crimson. The excruciating pain he feels from the gunshot wound on his leg has disappeared as he elbows one of the men holding him in the gut. Within a split second as he's being let go he pulls out a dagger from his belt and effortlessly throws it in the man's direction, knocking the gun out of his grasp. It scratches his hand, blood promptly seeping out of it. 

Shock graces the young man's features for a few seconds. He looks at Jeonghan both angrily and incredulously, "So you can still do that in such a pathetic state?" 

"Not so pathetic if I can do that, is it?" Jeonghan couldn't help but snarl, venom dripping from his tone. "Look, there's a bomb here that's going to explode everything in the vicinity of this warehouse in six minutes, so I suggest you do something quick unless you want to die here with us." 

"Trying to be smart even on the brink of death?" the young man barks out a humourless laugh, and judging by his calm reaction, he's already been made aware about the bomb. He picks up his gun and points it at Jeonghan. "Should I shoot you now or are you going to hurl another dagger at me?" 

Jeonghan doesn't have anymore daggers. Mingyu's fainted, and Hansol looks like he's on the verge of it. He's once again restrained, his legs have gone totally numb from the pain that he can't even feel them anymore. 

He's alone in this. 

The bomb continues to beep loudly beside his ear. As if counting down the last moments before his inevitable death. 

"Sir," one of the man's subordinates speak up out of blue, shrinking back in what seems to be fear as the man turns around to glare at him for interrupting. The subordinate gulps, "Well, uh, I'm so sorry, but—" 

"Spit it out." 

"The boss just called," the subordinate stammers. "He told you not to kill whoever is still alive." 

Jeonghan blinks several times. He can't believe what he's healing. The young man sighs loudly, lowering his gun. "And? What does he want me to do with them?" 

"To bring them to him. He said he wants to have a talk with one of them in the interrogation room." the subordinate explains through nervous stutters. "And he also said to hurry up since he doesn't want you to die in the explosion because you were too busy watching victims suffer." 

The man's glare intensifies. The subordinate practically yelps in fright and raises both hands up in surrender, "The boss' words! Not mine!" 

"Fine." the man turns around to look down at Hansol, who's already unconscious. He lets out a tsk and reluctantly puts his gun away, seeming a bit disappointed. "Knock them out and let's hurry back." 

Jeonghan's eyes widen at the prospect of his words. He attempts to voice his protests both verbally and physically, struggling in the men's hold as he tries to yell but nothing is able to leave his lips safe for a soundless croak. He successfully punches the man who tries to press a white cloth dosed in toxin chemical to his mouth in the jaw, but then his wrists get pinned, the last of his strength leaves him as he's forced to inhale whatever's in the white cloth, eyes rolling back and his world turns black. 

────────────

Jeonghan's an idiot. He knew the alliance with Red Code was a bad idea, and his instincts had been correct. They'd been betrayed. Red Code had probably fled with some of the stolen goods before Black Sun's men barged in and caught them, driving away on the mini-bus without care of whether or not the rest of them that were left behind would live or die.

Jeonghan wakes up to being tied in a chair in an unfamiliar room. His eyelids feel heavy, and he still feels slightly dizzy. His vision is a blur, and he has to blink several times for the invisible haze to clear out, eyes focusing on the man sitting across him, casually leaning back against his own chair. 

"He's awake." a voice announces. Jeonghan lifts his head, realising the voice belongs to the young man who tried to shoot Hansol back at the warehouse earlier. He's here again, standing next to the man Jeonghan does not recognise. 

Jeonghan coughs a few times when he tries to speak. His voice is dry and it takes a few attempts for him to form coherent words, but the man seems to allow him to take his time. "Where are—" he begins hoarsely, looking at the man straight in the eye. "Where are Mingyu and Hansol?" 

"The two boys with you? They're in the infirmary with our doctor." the man responds. He has the most soothing and smoothest voice Jeonghan's ever heard, but to be fair, he's grown used to being around middle aged men who smoke on a regular basis with rough and gruff voices. "I'll let you see them after this. How are you feeling now?" 

Jeonghan hesitates about answering that question. He had been overwhelmed with massive pain probably about several hours ago, but now his leg feels perfectly fine. He looks down and sees that his injured leg is wrapped in bandages.

Generally, he should be okay, but he's still tied up in rope and he definitely isn't anywhere safe at the moment. Therefore, he opts to be honest. "Like shit." 

The man nods. "I figured." he straightens up, crossing one leg over the other. His whole get-up looks expensive, Jeonghan notices, dressed in a white button-up, black necktie, black slacks along with a black coat draped around his broad shoulders. He seems young. Definitely at least a couple years older than Jeonghan, but young nevertheless. 

"Yoon Jeonghan. That is your name, am I right?" 

Jeonghan's head snaps up, alarmed. "How did you—" he pauses mid sentence, groaning internally. That was an incredibly stupid move of him. He isn't thinking right. His brain is still hazy, and he can't seen to articulate his thoughts correctly. 

He tries to recall what happened at the warehouse. Mingyu fainted, and Hansol got shot in the shoulder. Worry instantly fills him, and he wonders if either of them are truly alright despite what the man says. 

Because after all, they're in the territory of their enemy. Black Sun. And they'd just tried to steal from them. 

"Don't worry," the man interrupts his train of thoughts as if he read his mind. He folds his arms against his chest, a small smile spreading on his lips, "I'll explain everything to you under the condition that you'll answer a few questions for me." 

Fuck. He's in a goddamn _interrogation_. 

"How old are you, Jeonghan?" 

A beat of silence. 

The man's sigh reverberates around the deadly silent room. "I really don't want to resort to any methods including violence, Jeonghan. If you want to know what happened to you, Mingyu and Hansol, you'll have to cooperate with me. Whether you like it or not." 

The gears in Jeonghan's brain turn. This man's voice sounds genuine. But for all he knows, there's a huge chance it could be a trick. Yet he finds himself answering truthfully anyway. 

"Nineteen." he murmurs. 

"Thank you," the man says, pleased. "You're just a year older than Minghao, then." 

He gestures to the young man standing beside him. Minghao— the name of the young man back at the warehouse— scowls at Jeonghan but otherwise says nothing. 

"How long have you been in your gang?" 

"Since I was eleven." Jeonghan mumbles. 

"That's really young. You must've had it hard." the man says. Jeonghan had thought he would look cocky and arrogant, but his expression remains completely neutral, and almost sympathetic. "Care to share how you ended up there?" 

"My parents abandoned me somewhere. The gang found me, so they took me in. Don't know why they did." 

The man hums. "I see." is all he says, "Thank you for cooperating and answering all my questions. I appreciate it." 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Oh?" the man arches an eyebrow, eyes twinkling with interest. "Go ahead." 

"What are you planning to do with me?" 

Jeonghan doesn't receive an answer straight away. The man continues to stare at him, neutral expression failing to convey any emotion that could tell Jeonghan anything. Even so, he still looks mildly intrigued. 

"We're not going to kill you," the man replies smoothly. "In fact, I asked Minghao to bring you here because I wanted to speak with you about some... negotiations." 

"You didn't think of the possibility I could've already been dead before you informed him?" 

"I've heard of you and your feats, Jeonghan. You do have quite the reputation." the man's smile widens, eyes crinkling. "I just had a good feeling that you wouldn't be dead by the time I contacted Minghao." 

Jeonghan had absolutely _no_ idea he had any reputation or title of sorts outside his gang. Just what are people spreading about him? 

"Since you've been in your gang for quite some time, others are bound to notice your existence, and also considering the fact you've certainly contributed to some of your gang's success in terms of completing missions. Your loyalty and commitment have been praised several times as well, Jeonghan. Even I'm impressed."

People are praising him for his... loyalty to his gang. Admittedly, Jeonghan's a bit taken aback by what he's hearing. 

"So that's how you know my name?" 

"I've done a background check on you too." the man adds like it's nothing. He positions his chin atop his fist, elbow propped on his knee. "Han Sunghoon severely underestimated me, and now he may have to suffer a loss bigger than any he's ever encountered in all his years." 

Hearing the name of his boss said so casually like he was some unimportant coffee shop owner who lives across the street feels weird, but the last part of what the man said is what mostly piques his curiosity. What big loss is he talking about? 

"One more question."

"Yes?"

"What did you mean by he underestimated you?"

The man grins, "I suppose now would be the right time to introduce myself," he says. "My full name is Hong Jisoo, but Jisoo or Joshua is just fine." Jeonghan's breath hitches at once because just now is the realisation dawning on him on this man— Hong Jisoo's— identity and status. Honestly, at this point it wouldn't take an idiot to put the puzzle pieces together. "I'm the leader of Black Sun. Minghao is my right-hand and top assassin."

Jeonghan's pulse is throbbing on his neck. He's heard of this man. He's been _warned_ of this man. The man who took over Black Sun's empire after his predecessor passed away. The man who's dubbed as the most _deadliest_ person in the whole _country_. 

He's been in the same room with him and his declared top assassin for god knows how long. How the fuck is he still breathing? 

"How old are you?"

"I turn twenty-six in December," Jisoo replies. Jeonghan sucks in a sharp breath. He became the boss of Black Sun several years ago, which indicates that he could've been a newly turned legal adult at the time. He became leader of a mafia the same age normal citizens first learnt how to drive a car. 

Jisoo suddenly stands up and approaches him. Jeonghan couldn't suppress his flinch as Jisoo's hands brush against his skin, before he swiftly unties the ropes Jeonghan is binded in. Minghao is standing in a corner with a gun directed at him throughout the whole process. It's necessary, given that Jisoo is his boss and to ensure Jeonghan doesn't try anything. Not that he even possesses the ability, energy or guts to.

The ropes fall off, and Jeonghan can finally stretch his sore arms. He sighs, but still keeps a close eye on Jisoo as the male takes a few steps back to give him space. He's once again rendered surprised when Jisoo extends a hand at him, undeniably for him to take. 

"I believe I promised you that you'd get to see Mingyu and Hansol after this," Jisoo explains. "But I'd like to make it clear our chat isn't over just yet. I want to speak to you a little more once you finish visiting them in the infirmary. Not in this interrogation room, but in my office later." 

Jeonghan nods slowly. Despite the fear he initially felt towards Jisoo upon learning of who he truly is, he's still determined to meet Jisoo's gaze. And he does just that. "Alright. I promise." his response is quiet but firm.

"Wonderful," Jisoo says. "Can you walk on your own?" he asks, and then suddenly offers, "Or do you need me to hold you as you walk?" 

Holding hands with a dangerous mob boss isn't something Jeonghan envisions himself doing, nor is it something he personally _wants_ to do. "No thanks," he rejects the offer, waving off the hand Jisoo had outstretched for him. "I can walk myself." 

"Whatever you say then," Jisoo muses. He flashes another smile at Jeonghan and motions to the door. "I'll lead you to the infirmary, Jeonghan." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshua's character in this is inspired by BSD's Dazai :D Also mafia boss!Joshua is *clenches fist* so hot


	2. Chapter 2

The headquarters of Black Sun is vast. It's bigger than the one belonging to Jeonghan's gang, and everything about this place just reeks expensive. But knowing this mafia is practically an empire full of bloodshed, the tiled floors Jeonghan is currently walking on could have previously been stained with the blood of victims.

It feels unusual, to be walking side by side with the leader of the most infamous criminal organisation not only in the city, but in the entire country. On a contrary to how Jeonghan expected a man with such a title and reputation to be psychotic and constantly radiating killing intent, Jisoo actually seems rather civilized.

Jeonghan doesn't know whether he should be frightened by the fact he's sure there are a pair of eyes burning holes into the back of his skull a few steps behind them, or the fact he's inside the territory of a long-time foe. He's certain Minghao still has his gun in his holster and judging by how hostile he's been towards Jeonghan due to what happened between them at the warehouse, Minghao's probably itching to just put a bullet through Jeonghan's head.

But in all honesty, what he should be most scared of is the reality that he's standing next to someone like Hong Jisoo, and he isn't dead yet.

They pass through seemingly endless hallways for what feels like agonizing hours to Jeonghan before Jisoo finally stops in front of a particular room and raps his knuckles on the door. Jeonghan hears a grunt along with some shuffling around from inside before the door clicks open, revealing a doe-eyed man dressed in a doctor's white coat standing by the entrance.

"Boss," is the short greeting that leaves the doctor's mouth, followed by a soft yawn. "What can I do for you?" 

"Seungcheol, this is Jeonghan. He wants to see the two boys that were brought here earlier." Jisoo says. "Jeonghan, this is our doctor. For any minor or fatal injuries, we go to him for help." 

Seungcheol glances at Jeonghan and smiles, displaying the dimples on his cheeks. "Choi Seungcheol, I work for Jisoo as Black Sun's medical doctor." he does a quick self-introduction. "I'm the reason why Minghao over there is still alive and breathing." 

Minghao leans against the doorway and makes a distasteful noise that sounds like an irritated snarl. Jisoo chuckles, so Jeonghan figures that all of them must be on pretty good terms for Seungcheol to be able to playfully tease Jisoo's right-hand in such a carefree manner. 

"The boys you want to see are inside, and they've both just woken up." Seungcheol says, clearly directed at Jeonghan. The doctor steps aside from the doorway and Jeonghan is just about to walk in when a hand on his shoulder causes his body to momentarily freeze.

"After you're done, Minghao will take you to my office. Try not to take too long." Jisoo advises.

Jeonghan tries not to gulp. He doesn't, thankfully. There's still that something he can't put a finger on about Jisoo that makes people in his presence waver at the sound of his voice. "Okay."

"Good." Jisoo's hand leaves his shoulder, and Jeonghan couldn't help but relax a bit. "I'll be on my way now, but one more thing." Jisoo motions to Minghao. "Since we're already here, do both me and yourself a favor and at least put some gauze on your hand, Minghao." 

The arms that were firmly crossed against Minghao's chest fall limply to his sides. Jeonghan watches in silent awe as the foul-tempered teenage assassin who tried to kill him not too long ago wordlessly nods his head, pushing himself off the doorframe to drag his feet into the infirmary and presumely do as he's told. 

Seungcheol takes one look at the state of Minghao's hand and lets out a string of loud curses. "For fuck's sake, Minghao, how long have you left your hand just bleeding like that? Did you not even feel anything? You could've gotten an infection, Jesus Christ—" 

The door shuts behind Jeonghan and he doesn't even realise it until he turns around and sees that Jisoo is no longer there. 

"Hyung?" Jeonghan's head whips towards the source of the familiar voice. There lies Mingyu sitting up on one of the infirmary beds, expression filled with evident fatigue. He looks paler than usual, but okay nonetheless. His face seems to light up upon reuniting with Jeonghan again, a happy smile immediately making its way onto his lips. 

"Mingyu," Jeonghan releases a sigh of relief, stumbling over to Mingyu as fast as he could. He sits down on the bed and cups Mingyu's cheek, heart dropping when Mingyu's skin feels cold against his touch. "Are you okay?" he leans in to whisper in Mingyu's ear, "Did they do anything to you while I was gone?" 

"I'm perfectly fine. See? I'm not even injured anywhere." Mingyu reassures, jerking his head to his right. "You should take a look at Hansol instead." 

A clear of a throat resounds beside them. Hansol is sitting on another bed, shirtless, with bandages diagonally wrapped around his right shoulderblade to his left side. Seemingly sensing Jeonghan's shock, Hansol smiles sheepishly. "Hey, hyung." 

"Oh my god." Jeonghan approaches Hansol's bed, frowning at the sight before him. It breaks his heart to see Hansol like this. Not only that, he's seething. If he could have it his way, he'd track down whoever did this to Hansol and make them pay tenfold. 

Gently, he runs his fingers through Hansol's soft locks. "Are you feeling alright now?" he asks quietly. Does it still hurt a lot? Tell hyung, hm?" 

Hansol playfully swats Jeonghan's hand away. "We're fine, hyung. You don't need to baby us. It's just a bullet wound." 

"Which could've killed you." 

"Hyung, you talk like you didn't get shot yourself." Mingyu frowns deeply. "Is your leg okay?" 

"I'm okay. You two don't need to worry about me. You're both still so young, fuck. It was a bad idea to have you two come along on this mission." Jeonghan's blood boils at the mention of their failed mission. The reminder that they had been betrayed by their so called allies and left to fend for themselves. Their boss must be pissed, and it worries Jeonghan what he might do in his fit of rage. 

He hasn't stopped thinking about that since he regained consciousness earlier. The outcome for gang members who failed missions usually don't end well. Jeonghan's always tried his best to ensure his perfect misson streak because he got to witness first-hand years ago on what happened to those who didn't succeed. But Jeonghan's not back at the gang right now. What will Sunghoon do? Would he take it out on Seungkwan, Seokmin and Chan? 

A hand places itself above Jeonghan's. Hansol squeezes his hand. "Hyung," he starts, voice lowered so that Seungcheol and Minghao can't overhear from where they're across the room. "You aren't that much older than us either. You and I are injured, and we're still in the territory of an enemy. Just— in this situation it might not be the smartest idea, but please, calm down for a moment." 

Jeonghan stares at Hansol for a long while and sighs. "I can't, Hansol. How am I supposed to calm down?" Hansol and Mingyu are only sixteen and seventeen, and they don't have the years of experience in the gang like Jeonghan did. It's partly Jeonghan's fault that he didn't think of the possibility they could be betrayed during the mission. "I can't stop thinking about what'll happen to Seungkwan, Seokmin and Chan."

Mingyu nods in agreement, looking sullen. "We need to go back and find them."

"I'm not even sure that we can go back, Mingyu." Jeonghan hisses under his breath. He thinks of Black Sun, of Hong Jisoo. Even though Jisoo has treated him decently ever since he woke up, surely even he would be upset that members from a rival gang trespassed into his territory and attempted to steal from his organisation. It isn't guaranteed yet that they get to leave this place alive, albeit whatever Jisoo's told him earlier. Those could be lies for all he knows. 

Mingyu falls silent for a while before he speaks up again. "Did they do anything to you?" he asks quietly, concerned. "We were really worried about you when we got separated. Where were you?" 

"I was put in an interrogation room." 

Hansol seems uneasy. "What did they ask you?" 

"Normal questions. They did a background check on me, somehow." Jeonghan swallows the lump forming in his throat. "I met the boss of Black Sun," he adds lowly. "And he wants to talk to me later, I don't know what, but—" 

He pauses mid-sentence when a new presence appears. Minghao is behind Mingyu's bed, white bandages wrapped around his hand. He looks a bit annoyed, his ever-present scowl once again spread across his ironically, soft and delicate-looking facial features. His eyes then shift towards Jeonghan and he looks unhappy. 

"Seungcheol's in the other room getting more medical supplies," Minghao says. "Boss told me to give you some privacy. And believe me, I have absolutely no idea why _._ " 

Jeonghan snorts. "You're acting like we can actually escape this place." he's right. There are no windows in this room and his leg isn't completely healed yet, nor are any of them in any condition to be risking their lives again. Even if they could get out of this room without being seen, Black Sun's headquarters is practically a huge maze. He's certain there are guards armed with weapons on every floor too. 

Minghao ignores his witty retort. "Time's up anyways. Boss wants to see you in his office now."

Hansol seems unwilling to separate with Jeonghan again. He nibbles on his bottom lip anxiously, "Will he do anything to Jeonghan-hyung?" 

"I can't confirm that," Minghao replies dryly. "Follow me." he instructs, turning around to exit the room. Jeonghan pats both Mingyu and Hansol's heads, promises them he'd surely be back to see them again if he had the chance, then tails after Minghao out the door. 

They walk in silence. Minghao's footsteps are firm but light, and Jeonghan notices he barely makes a sound when he moves. He's well-trained, Jeonghan thinks, and for a moment he ponders what sort of fucked up past Minghao must have to wind up as Jisoo's right-hand and top assassin at eighteen years old. 

But considering Jisoo's the boss of such a large organisation at twenty-six, his background must be even more fucked up. 

His brain tries to keep up with memorising each and every pattern of the headquarters after following Minghao through a labyrinth of corridors. They end up entering an elevator, and Minghao presses the button of the highest floor. 

The highest floor is where the boss resides. It's most likely also the grandest one, and not many people are granted access to enter the boss' office, as it seems. Permission is required to appoint meetings with Jisoo, and the exceptions are probably only himself and those in his inner circle.

Minghao halts in front of two wooden double doors, where guarding it are two middle-aged men carrying rifles. They both tower over Minghao, but immediately bow nearly ninety degrees upon seeing him, simultaneously letting out a loud and clear greeting. 

"Get out of here," Minghao's blunt statement seems to surprise the two men. "The boss requested privacy during the discussion with his visitor. He doesn't want any of you eavesdropping, so go patrol on the second floor instead. I'll take it from here." 

The men nod rapidly and scurry off like frightened mice. Once they're out of earshot, Minghao crosses his arms and glances at Jeonghan expectantly.

"What?"

"Go in," Minghao says. "It won't do you any good to keep him waiting." 

"You're not going in with me?"

"He wants to see you, not me." Minghao answers simply. "I'll be standing outside."

Jeonghan doesn't dare to pick a fight with Minghao. He looks away, hand reaching out to twist the doorknob and pushes one of the double doors open, slowly closing it behind him upon entering Jisoo's office.

The inside looks... rather normal, actually. The floor is carpeted is one thing. Against the walls are two tall bookshelves lined with thick books, and Jeonghan wonders for a brief second what kind of books Jisoo even reads to have that many. In the center of the room is a pompous desk made out of mahogany, with a stack of paperwork and files on top of it. The main focus is definitely the man behind the table, black coat now draped around his cushioned chair rather than on his shoulders.

"Take a seat, Jeonghan."

Jeonghan directs his attention to the empty chair in front of Jisoo's desk. Already aware there's no point hesitating, he boldly strides over and sits down. 

"How's your leg?" Jisoo isn't even looking at him, eyes fixated down on the papers held between his fingers. Jeonghan folds his hands in his lap, his gaze naturally travelling over to the bulging arms straining against his white sleeves, hurriedly looking away the moment Jisoo raises his head to meet his eyes. 

The mob boss arches an eyebrow, and Jeonghan snaps out of it. "I'm fine," he blurts. "I can still walk. It doesn't hurt that much anymore." 

"That's a relief." 

Silence once again fills the air. Jeonghan feels awkward, a feeling he detests and rarely ever experiences. Jisoo's presence is probably one of the factors, because whenever he's around, all Jeonghan is able to feel is tensed. 

"Jeonghan, I need you to answer some things for me. I understand that some of the information might be confidential and only to be shared within the members of your gang, but frankly, I don't think you're in any position to be able to choose." Jisoo says seriously. The smile he once flashed just a while ago is long gone as if it's never been there before, definitely not aiding the mess of emotions Jeonghan is going through at the moment. 

He's afraid. Afraid of what Jisoo might do if he fails to answer his questions.

"To make this fair between us," Jisoo's next words take Jeonghan by surprise. "If you answer truthfully, I'll answer some of your questions as well. But I hope you know where I draw the line when it comes to asking me questions."

Jeonghan has _never_ met someone like this before. Fairness? He was taught there was never fairness when it comes to being in gangs and the mafia. He would be less shocked if Jisoo had started beating him up in exchange for answers before eventually ending his life instead. 

But he should be grateful, shouldn't he? 

He should take advantage of this situation. 

"Okay." he stares back at Jisoo. "Throughout this whole... discussion we're having, will Mingyu and Hansol be alright?" 

"They'll still be in the infirmary unless they choose to wander off themselves, but Seungcheol isn't the type to let his patients out of his sight that easily anyway." Jisoo rests his forearm atop the surface of his desk, planting his chin down afterward. "Take a guess, Jeonghan." he tilts his head a bit, and his bangs end up falling into his eyes. "What do you think I'm feeling right now?" 

Jeonghan's observant. He's able to pick up on things no one else would've noticed and make accurate deductions. Jisoo might have been all smiles and displayed a very calm and kind demeanor, yet it only takes one look at him now for Jeonghan to come up with a conclusion— or moreso, an answer. 

"You're angry." 

The atmosphere somehow turns tense, as if the room temperature decreased several notches. Jeonghan shudders a bit and suddenly feels apprehensive, but he doesn't know what overcomes him when his next sentence leaves his lips. 

"You've been angry for a while now." 

It's like Jeonghan doesn't realise he bit off more he could chew until he actually says it. 

However, Jisoo hums in agreement. "You're right," he replies. "Do you want to know why?" 

It takes a solid five seconds for it to sink in that Jisoo wouldn't move on without receiving a response from him, so Jeonghan just nods and prays Jisoo doesn't notice how he's gotten a tad jittery. 

"I killed the leader of a long-time rival of ours months ago, therefore ending our war. It did bring me satisfaction to see the enemy that my predecessor was unable to fully eradicate for the longest time finally burn to the ground, and our victory has also expanded our influence and inflicted more... fear over other organisations in Korea." Jisoo explains. "But Black Sun lost a portion of its manpower during the fight, and we're still in the process of rebuilding it all. Unfortunately, a few rats thought it was the perfect time for them to steal supplies from one of our warehouses." 

"You can say that I was very, very unhappy." 

Jeonghan's immensely thankful his voice doesn't waver the next time he speaks. It would be a terribly foolish move to express any fear in front of Jisoo right now. Especially when he just admitted to Jeonghan he's absolutely pissed other gangs _he's_ apart of tried to steal from them.

"How did you find out?"

"It was pure coincidence. We recently captured an informant trespassing in the building a few days ago, and I went down to meet him in the interrogation room today. When I asked if his gang was scheming anything, he caved within the first five minutes. And guess what? He was from Red Code, so he told me about the operation that was planned to steal from my warehouse in Gangdong-gu."

Jeonghan inhales a breath. With such bad timing, they'd been unlucky.

There were several mini-buses hiding outside the warehouse as a quick get-away, along with cameras and earpieces as a form of communication during the mission. There were supposed to be people keeping watch outside the warehouse as well just in case, but Red Code's betrayal had secured the whole operation's failure. It was, again, Jeonghan thinks, a very stupid decision to form an alliance with them. 

"Minghao had just finished a mission with his squad and was nearby at the time, so I contacted him and told him to go check out the warehouse because apparently you've also decided to implant a bomb inside." Jisoo steeples his fingers under his chin. "There wasn't enough time to defuse the bomb or transport all the supplies out the warehouse, so in the end everything exploded to bits after Minghao left. Although I'm sure since Red Code betrayed your gang, they must've been able to run away with some supplies that belonged to us before Minghao arrived."

"You knew they betrayed us?"

"They planned to do that from the very beginning. The informant spilled everything. Clearly, Sunghoon was desperate when he agreed to that alliance. He wasn't thinking it through." Jisoo answers. "So do you understand why I'm angry now?" 

"... Yeah." if Jeonghan was in Jisoo's shoes, he'd feel the same way too. But evidently, Jisoo is handling it way better. He's mature, calm and quite the literal opposite of rash. Although perhaps there's a possibility that's just what makes him much more dangerous and sinister than the rest. 

Jisoo smiles wryly.

"You're a lot calmer than I expected you to be," he comments. "That informant was at least twice your age and he nearly shat his pants during the whole interrogation when I barely even did anything. And you're the one with an injured leg sitting in my office." 

"I'm used to being in... tense situations." 

The glint in Jisoo's eye shows amusement. 

"I agree. This situation does seem... tense. At least for you." the mafia boss muses. He grows silent, and the temperature in the room drops again, but he's the same person to break the silence nonetheless.

"Do you think you're loyal, Jeonghan?" 

Jeonghan's lips press into a thin line. He hadn't anticipated such an out of topic question.

Suddenly, Jisoo leans closer. "Kim Mingyu, Chwe Hansol," he whispers. "Lee Seokmin, Boo Seungkwan, Lee Chan. Do those names sound familiar to you?" 

All hell breaks loose. Now, the pounding in Jeonghan's chest grows louder, along with the blood rushing in his ears. "How did you find out about them?" Jeonghan hisses, barely holding back a shout. It wouldn't be good for him if he lost control of his emotions and shouted in Jisoo's face. Minghao would instantly storm in and tear off his limbs, probably. Then again, his eyes are blown wide and a series of negative and panic-filled thoughts begin flooding his mind. 

"You'd be amazed at the wonders the hackers in our intelligence unit can work." Jisoo chuckles, "Calm down. Excluding Mingyu and Hansol, the rest of them are back with your gang." 

"You— You didn't do anything to them?" 

"I didn't. I promise." 

Definitely not the best idea to believe Jisoo's words right now, but Jeonghan couldn't help the sense of relief filling him, slumping back in his chair to calm his ragged breathing down.

"Eighty-six," Jisoo speaks up out of the blue. "Based on the background check we did on you, you've accomplished a total of eighty-six missions within your time in the gang, starting when you were thirteen years old. You're an assassin, you've killed a handful of people before, and you've definitely done some dirty work behind the scenes. And with that, you've gained more than a little experience throughout your youth."

"What are you talking about?" 

"You're an incredibly valuable asset to your gang. Skills, capability, efficiency. It's what ensured your perfect mission streak— Well, perfect at least until now. But Han Sunghoon is too caught up in his own ego to cherish you and your worth." Jisoo's eyes look dangerous. "I'm very upset with what he and Red Code's schemes costed Black Sun today, Jeonghan. So let me ask you this question one more time, do you think you're loyal to Sunghoon? To your gang?" 

"I'm not," Jeonghan says in finality. That answer's been clear in his head for a while now, but he just never thought the day would come where he'd admit it. "I never really was." 

"Then why did you continue to stay and work for them?" 

"I stayed—" Jeonghan draws in a breath, looking down at his clenched fists on his lap. He slowly releases his grip, but his hands still feel cold. "I stayed for those boys."

Despite being the people that gave him a roof to live under when he was abandoned by his parents, fifteen year old Jeonghan had already come to terms with the fact his boss and practically everyone else in the gang were not the kind of people that deserved his respect. He contemplated running away, but he didn't think he could live with himself if he dared to leave those boys behind. Without his presence, the gang would surely give them a hard time. 

"Jeonghan, I've met Han Sunghoon before. Several times." Jisoo says. "He's a man who has power, but no true leadership skills. No good at making connections either. It's why so many have tried betraying him. He prides himself highly and his ego is terribly inflated just because he rules a gang, yet he has little regard for the lives of other people." he adds. "You, on the other hand, care too much about other people and have little regard for yourself." 

"You're on opposite sides of the spectrum. Sunghoon is selfish and has fragile ego. He just lost one of his best assassins and refuses to admit defeat or the fact he got betrayed by an ally, so that's one reason why he's yet to come save you, Mingyu and Hansol. All this time, you were only worried about those boys' safety and chose to neglect your own when you're most likely the one who's in the most danger here."

Jeonghan's jaw almost drops. If it did, he's certain it'd hit the ground. He shakes his head and stares back at Jisoo in disbelief. "Well, what do you want me to do about it now?" he retorts. Because like Jisoo said, he has little regard for his own safety.

The edges of Jisoo's lips curl into a grin.

"I'll make you an offer, Jeonghan. Leave your old gang, and join Black Sun instead." he says, "If you do, I guarantee you that you and those boys you adore so much would be treated much fairer and simply, better here." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts on this chapter? Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of dialogue in this chapter, and frankly I had trouble making sure the dialogue sounded natural.
> 
> ⚠ this chapter has implied mentions/references to past child abuse

The occasional rustling of the paperwork on Jisoo's desk suddenly feels so much louder in Jeonghan's ears.

His shoulders are rigid. It feels uncomfortable, but not as nearly as the palpable tension in the room. It's thick enough that Jeonghan thought he couldn't breath normally for a brief second.

Jisoo is staring at him patiently, expectantly. Calmly waiting for Jeonghan's answer, most likely.

Jeonghan's throat feels tight. "You aren't serious," he murmurs quietly, both disbelieved and astonished. He hadn't intended to say that, and he can't help but think he's done a lot of regrettable mistakes today. Jisoo, thankfully, doesn't seem that much bothered.

"I most definitely am." Jisoo replies.

"Why? Why are you giving me this offer?"

Jisoo smiles again. "I've had my eye on you for a while now, Jeonghan. Before we did that background check on you and found out your name, of course. Naturally, news of a talented teenage assassin grasped my attention when I first heard of it some time ago." 

"Did that informant from Red Code spill to you whoever was going to be in that operation as well? You knew I was there." 

"Getting brave with me, aren't you?" a soft chuckle that causes Jeonghan's heart to skip a beat. This man. His appearance does his terrifying mafia boss title no justice because from head to toe, from his wide eyes to his soft laugh, Hong Jisoo doesn't strike to anyone as the fearful leader residing on the top of the underground criminal industry's food chain.

It's a good thing the term not to judge a book by its cover has been drilled into Jeonghan a long time ago. He's internally thankful. 

"Well, I was upset that I had to lose a warehouse containing so much supplies because of a few pesky rats." Jisoo drums his fingers on the surface of his desk. "I ordered Minghao to kill everyone at first, but then I thought of you. So I spared you, and the two boys that were still alive with you. I knew there was a chance you could've already been dead, either killed by Minghao or by Red Code, but I decided to take the risk." 

The mafia boss clasps his hands together, "Anyways, the possibility rate that you would be there was high according to the rumors I've heard about you. Sunghoon seems to like having you on the field most of the time, although based on the the background check, you seem to work better on your own."

"You found out that much about me from that background check _alone_?" 

Jisoo sounds amused. "According to the hackers on our team, there's always a way to decode or break the system no matter how advanced it is."

The people that work for Jisoo, Jeonghan wonders to himself, are probably just as weird as he is. But he'd expect nothing less, he then supposes. 

"In my opinion," Jisoo continues. "I think you'd be able to get the job done perfectly even if it is a team mission. Lack of cooperation, trust and communication between teammates are the key failures. But considering how you feel about the people in your gang, I don't blame you. I want you in Black Sun. Your training will be better, and I promise you the people here are much more efficient to work with compared to the incompetent morons you're being forced to cooperate with back at your gang."

It's a tempting offer, Jeonghan won't deny. Some would even consider it an honor. 

"Do I have to give an answer right away?"

"Three days," Jisoo says. "I'll give you three days to think about it. In that duration, you can stay in the headquarters since your leg is still injured. If you have anything you're unsure of or would like to ask me, I'll let you come see me in my office." 

Only Jisoo's inner circle or guests are allowed to do that. Jeonghan blinks owlishly. Does Jisoo really see that much potential in him? 

"Of course, if you choose to decline my offer you're free to return. Although I believe that'd be more of your loss than mine." 

"You won't make me suffer for being part of the reason why your warehouse exploded?" Jeonghan questions, genuinely a bit bewildered. "I was the one that planted the bomb." he unnecessarily adds, just to see Jisoo's reaction. 

Jisoo's brow raises. "That would depend on the outcome of your answer to my offer." 

It's neither a yes or a no, yet at the same time it sounds like Jisoo's threatening him. Still, Jeonghan nods and decides it's best to leave it at there. "Am I allowed to put in any of my own conditions?" 

"Conditions?" that seems to pique Jisoo's interest again. "What kind?" 

"Those boys. They get to join Black Sun too. If I agree to join, that is." 

"Sure." Jisoo shrugs. "I did say I'd promise you their protection in exchange. They'll be trained better here anyway." that statement is said confidently, but Jisoo goes quiet all of a sudden. He studies and observes Jeonghan in silence, all the while Jeonghan is determined not to back down from his heavy stare.

"You're kind, Jeonghan." the comment is abrupt, out of nowhere, and definitely not what Jeonghan expected him to say. Most shockingly, it sounds genuine. Jisoo doesn't say it with a smile or laced with mockery. Just a straight face, the words a simple conclusion to his observation. "And while I don't really think having too much kindness in your heart is a good trait to own as an assassin working for the mafia, I still admire it." 

"Uh—" Jeonghan looks at him awkwardly. "Thanks?" 

Out of the top ten most unusual and craziest things Jeonghan has ever done in his life, making a feared mafia boss burst into a fit of a laughter just easily takes the number one crown. 

Jisoo looks nice when he smiles, the way his big eyes would crinkle prettily as his plump lips stretch into a grin. For a split-second, if Jeonghan can even ignore the detail of him being a mafia leader, he finds he quite likes the way Jisoo's laugh sounds. 

He realised this the moment he first laid eyes on Jisoo. Jisoo is unarguably attractive. The shock of it didn't set in earlier due to a number of other things Jeonghan had to worry about, but he always thought the leader of Black Sun would be someone older, someone less unattractive, someone with more wrinkles on his face.

Mafia bosses aren't supposed to be ridiculously hot young men. 

And yet he was proven wrong when he awoke to Jisoo sitting in that chair in front of him, dressed in his intimidating, all black get-up. 

Unlike the older gangsters Jeonghan's met with a bit of stubble, slicked back hair and golden chains adorning their necks, Jisoo's black hair is slightly tousled, strands of his bangs falling flat on his forehead and above his dark eyes. Coupled with a chiseled jawline, wide shoulders and plump lips that are full at the bottom and curled at the edges, Jisoo could resemble a model. 

Jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek, despising how he feels his face heating up the more he stares at Jisoo. Deciding to avoid Jisoo's gaze for now, he clears his throat. "Do you still have anything you'd like to ask me?" 

There are, in fact, a _lot_ of things Jeonghan still wants to ask, some Jisoo would probably answer and some likely not. But his thoughts are a swirling mess and all he wants right now is to see the comforting faces of his boys. He shakes his head as an answer. 

"Then we're done here." 

"Can I go see Mingyu and Hansol?" he asks. 

Jisoo nods. "Of course. Minghao will take you to the infirmary. I have paperwork to catch up on, I'm afraid." 

"Consider my offer wisely," he reminds as Jeonghan makes it to the door. "It'd be in your best interest to do so." 

The younger male manages a nod of his head and exits the office. Minghao is still standing outside when he comes out of the room, then leads Jeonghan to the elevator and down to the infirmary on the third floor without so much as a word exchanged between them. 

It's when he's nearing the infirmary the realisation dawns on him that he's done a lot of walking today, even on an injured leg. He's rather impressed with his own durability, though when he arrives at the infirmary his body is _screaming_ at him to sit down. 

Maybe it was his fault that he declined Jisoo's offer to hold onto him for support several hours ago and the sore pain is now the price he has to pay. He doesn't feel like asking Minghao for help either. Jeonghan has an inkling that he'll cut his fingers off if he does. 

When he arrives at the infirmary, _finally_ , he sees Seungcheol inside, arranging his medical tools and supplies in the many wooden cabinets.

"Oh, hey." Seungcheol turns around. He blinks. "Did you walk all the way to the interrogation room, to the infirmary, to Jisoo's office and then come back here?" 

"Um. Yeah." 

"What the fuck," Seungcheol says plainly. "The bullet only grazed your skin, but how the fuck is your leg not killing you?" 

"My leg _is_ killing me." Jeonghan quickly corrects. The pained hiss he's been suppressing for a while is released now that the secret's out, "Got any place I can sit down?" 

"The bed. Here," Seungcheol strides over and tries to help him, but Jeonghan declines and insists on getting to the bed himself like the idiot he is. He practically collapses on it, letting out a long sigh of relief— now that he's sitting on such soft sheets and the pain on his leg doesn't make him feel like straight up amputating it anymore, the desire to close his eyes and maybe sleep for a bit hits him all at once. 

"Hyung? You're back," Mingyu perks up, plopping down on the same bed Jeonghan is sitting on. "What happened? Are you okay? Hansol and I were worried." 

"This guy gets talkative when he's worried," Jeonghan hears Seungcheol groan from across the room. He looks up and sees the doctor slumped in a chair, sucking on a grape-flavored lollipop. He squints his eyes but comments nothing about it. "The infirmary has never been this noisy before, and there was this one time a whole squadron of injured men were piled up in here." Seungcheol complains. 

"I thought you said the infirmary was way too quiet for your liking!" 

"I take it back. I'd rather have Minghao glaring daggers at me as I stitch up his wounds than listening to you talk nonstop for an hour." Seungcheol huffs, "Now I find that I quite like the peace and quiet." 

"Seungcheol-hyung," speak of the devil, Minghao walks into the room just before Mingyu can come up with a retort. His expression is blank, per usual. "There's four men that just came back from a mission with some minor injuries. I think one of them got shot though. He's bleeding all over the hallway." 

"Shot? Oh shit. Okay," Seungcheol scrambles off his chair, snatching a medical kit from his table, lollipop still in his mouth. He whirls around and his eyes narrow. "Don't touch anything while I'm gone, got it?" 

Jeonghan sighs. "Got it." he says wearily, which seems to satisfy Seungcheol before he races out of the room. Jeonghan thought Minghao would at least glare at them or give them any type of warning just because _that's_ the impression Jeonghan has of him, but the younger male says nothing and simply follows Seungcheol out the door instead. 

"Hansol's sleeping. Doctor Choi said it's best for him to rest a lot and not move his shoulder around too much." Mingyu says once they're gone. He licks his lips, "I wanted to say this to you earlier too, hyung. I'm sorry." 

Jeonghan is momentarily taken aback. "For what?" 

"For not being much help back at the warehouse. For fainting so quickly. Both you and Hansol got shot." 

"It wasn't your fault we got shot." Jeonghan frowns. "What's happened has already happened anyway." he exhales a sigh. He has important things to tell them. It's either now or never. "Mingyu, I have something to tell you." 

"Yes, hyung?" 

"Jis— The leader of Black Sun offered me a deal," he says, noticing Mingyu stiffen. "The deal was that if I leave our gang and join him instead, he'd promise protection, and that our treatment and training will be much better here. He even said you, Hansol, and everyone else could join too." 

"What did you say?" 

"I haven't answered him yet. He said I could have three days to think it over." Jeonghan's lips press into a thin line. "I was planning to ask you and Hansol about it. I don't think— I don't think I'd be able to accept his offer if the two of you or the rest of the boys said no. If _any_ of you said no. I need all of you with me. You boys really do drive me up the wall sometimes, but most of the time you lot are why I'm still sane."

"Hyung," Mingyu's tone is uncharacteristically soft, serious. "I'll always follow you. No one but you cared about Seokmin and I when we first joined, remember? Even until now, no one else does except for our group. I don't care about the gang unless you're with us, and I'm sure Hansol, Seokmin, Seungkwan and Chan think the same too." 

Jeonghan wants to laugh and cry at the same time. If it weren't for their current circumstances and the fact he couldn't even bring himself to laugh without it sounding terribly strained, he would've. Yet at the same time he wants to cry because he's never heard something so sentimental and so genuine said about him before. 

He isn't a virtuous saint with high morals. He's an assassin, unwanted by his own blood and working for dirty people. He's sinful, but Mingyu speaks like he isn't.

Being in the same line of work as he is, the boys know as well as Jeonghan himself does that he isn't a good person with an angel's halo above his head, but they trust him. They trust him so much they're willing to put their precious lives in his filthy, bloodied hands because they'd been mistreated as kids prior to joining the gang and Jeonghan was the first out of everyone to show them care. 

Contrastingly, Han Sunghoon only ever views them as his expendable assets, disposable at any time. Jeonghan figured that out when he was fifteen even though he was practically brainwashed into believing the gang was his safe haven, and that was when he decisively lost all type of respect he had for Sunghoon. 

A shame, because eleven year old him once thought Sunghoon was his savior. 

"He asked me if I was loyal to our gang, or to our boss," Jeonghan explains, chest feeling a bit lighter now. "I said no. And he knew. He saw right through me." 

"How's he like? I caught a glimpse of him when he was here just now, and he looks really young." 

"He's dangerous," Jeonghan replies. He's perceived Jisoo isn't someone to be underestimated, and Sunghoon had made the mistake by doing just that. Even if their mission did succeed without the timing of the capture of that informant, Jisoo would find out about it either way and he certainly wouldn't just let it slide. Despite him saying he's in the process of rebuilding the mafia, the Black Sun is still infamous for a reason. 

Even if Red Code were still their allies and teamed up with them against Black Sun, there's a bigger possibility they'd still lose. Sunghoon would be fighting a losing battle, and Jisoo would have their gangs destroyed with a flick of his hand. 

"I'm not sure if he's trustworthy," he tells Mingyu. "But I like his mindset compared to Sunghoon's."

Mingyu seems to trust his judgement whole-heartedly. "When are you going to make up your mind and give him your answer?" he asks curiously, "Also, you're going to say yes, right?" 

There's no way Jeonghan's going to say no. He can't go back to the gang, not when he's aware of the consequences and not when he's finally given the chance to run away from it. The sole reason he'd been unable to tell Jisoo yes there and then was because he was hesitant whether the boys would choose to stay with him. Call him pathetic, but he'd rather be tormented and mistreated forever than be permanently separated from them.

The boys love him, Mingyu reassures. They love Jeonghan as much as Jeonghan loves them. And they'd follow him anywhere. In a heartbeat, is what Mingyu adds. 

"I'll tell him yes tomorrow," Jeonghan states, "I need to have a talk about this with Hansol when he wakes up." 

"Do you think Seokmin, Seungkwan and Chan are okay?"

The question, spoken with so much uncertainty, breaks Jeonghan's heart. "I don't know," he answers truthfully. Mingyu's expression falls. "Just one day, Mingyu. Just one more day, I'll say yes and we can go find them. Then we'll be able to leave the gang. Joining Black Sun might be just as dangerous, but I want to take their boss' word for it. That we won't be treated like garbage here." 

"Okay," to Jeonghan's slight surprise, Mingyu pulls him down to lay on the bed and rest his head on the pillow. "Sleep now, hyung. Take a rest for a while." 

Everything that's occurred today sinks in, to being betrayed by an ally, to seeing Hansol nearly die, to getting shot, and to making a deal with an infamous mob boss. The weight of it settles on Jeonghan's shoulders, feeling at home with the invisible noose Jeonghan's had around his neck ever since he hastily agreed to join a random gang many years ago just because he wanted to get off the dirty streets. 

But maybe— just maybe, if he says yes, then the noose that holds all his fears and insecurities will finally be cut loose. 

Gradually, he falls asleep to Mingyu's humming and Hansol's soft snores from the other bed. The endearing noises succeed in soothing Jeonghan's anxiety, the weight on his shoulders feeling less heavy.

────────────

"You're weird, Jeonghan. You know that?" 

Jeonghan had woken up a while ago, shaken awake by Seungcheol who had told him his bandages needed to be changed. Once they were done with that the doctor had suddenly struck up a conversation with him, although they're only one minute into it and Jeonghan's already feeling less than amused.

"We've literally just met. I don't think that's long enough for you to already act judgemental towards me." 

Seungcheol rolls his eyes. "I can already tell why he's interested." he mutters. 

A frown curves Jeonghan's lips, "What?" 

"It's nothing," Jeonghan's frown deepens but he doesn't try to argue. Seungcheol continues talking, "Compared to those who sleep like dead logs, you're such a light sleeper." the dead logs he's referring to are so obviously Mingyu and Hansol, and Jeonghan's not even going to deny it. "You have nightmares, don't you?" 

A bit dumbfounded, Jeonghan finds himself subconsciously nodding. He sighs and rubs his nape, "I've had them for years now." 

So did Hansol and some of the other boys, but they've lessened in recent months. They always seem to sleep better when he's around. 

"That's not surprising. You were abandoned by your parents, picked up by a gang and thrusted into the world of underground and criminals without any knowledge of how your future would turn out before you were trained to become a child assassin." Seungcheol shakes his head, "You've had it tough, kid." 

Being called a kid by someone who's only in his mid twenties feels odd, and Jeonghan finds himself not ever wanting to be called such again. The teasing smirk present on Seungcheol's face hints that he knows that too. For a doctor, he's a little annoying. But surprisingly, he's actually nice to converse with. 

"You're a doctor working for the mafia. I'm sure you don't have it easy either." 

"Of course I don't," Seungcheol snorts. "I worked my ass off in med school trying to get that goddamn degree, having no clue that years later I'd be spending my life treating criminals and murderers." 

"So? Why are you still here then?" 

"Shua's a friend of mine. He needed someone with professional medical experience, I needed a full-time job. He helped me get one, so I owe him. Besides, I quite like it around here. 

Jeonghan's eyebrows furrow. "Who's Shua?" 

"Jisoo. My boss." Jeonghan clicks his tongue at Seungcheol's sarcastic tone. "He was originally from the United States with the English name Joshua. Or Shua, for short." 

"You two must be close." 

"Like I said, we're friends. I've known that bastard for years." Seungcheol hums. "I know quite a lot about him." 

Jeonghan nods, mindlessly caressing Mingyu's hair. A bit of drool is seeping out of the corner of Mingyu's lips as he sleeps. He looks like the thin and timid thirteen year old he used to be, clinging onto Seokmin as Seokmin in return tightly held onto him as they were shoved into a room to meet Jeonghan for the first time.

The atmosphere had been awkward, Jeonghan didn't know how to get closer to them since he had never properly interacted with people near his age. He didn't have any idea why these two were assigned to be under his watch in the first place. But things changed and Mingyu's grown much taller than before, even slightly taller than Jeonghan as of now. 

"I'm sure Jisoo's already told you this, but he's been trying to recruit you into Black Sun for some time since he did that background check on you. He was going to send someone to find you, but the warehouse incident occurred and thus the opportunity to talk to you presented itself." Seungcheol says. "You should say yes to his offer." 

"You're on his side. Of course you'll want me to say yes." 

Seungcheol shrugs, "Maybe, sure," he replies nonchalantly. "But I really do think you'd be better off here. I've seen the faded scars on Mingyu's thighs when I was doing their medical check-ups." he pauses for a while before asking lowly, "Your gang doesn't treat the younger members well, do they?" 

Jeonghan's heart sinks, weighed down by guilt and misery like heavy anchors chained to the depths of an abyss floor. "Those scars were from a long time ago. Some of them did it when they were angry and drunk and I wasn't there at the time, so—" he stops and draws in a deep breath. His eyes close, trying to block out the memories flashing in his head of the two teenage boys crying to him when he returned from a mission, unaware and perplexed. Seokmin and Mingyu got hurt. He wasn't there. 

A bitter laugh escapes him. "Well, you can probably guess the rest. Seokmin and Mingyu had only joined for about a few months, and I tried to ensure nothing like that happened to them anymore after that incident or to any of the boys that joined later, but there was still one time four of the older members got drunk again, one lost control of his alcohol tolerance and tried to hurt Chan, the youngest. I panicked and ended up stepping in between them."

Seungcheol has a unreadable expression on his face. "You took the blow instead?" he asks. 

"I have a scar on my cheek to remember that day." Jeonghan points out, brushing aside the hair that frames the side of his face to reveal the whitened scar on it. A short stroke across his skin, below his right eye, undeniably caused by a knife. 

"You didn't ever think of rebelling?" Seungcheol questions. "Or anything like that?" 

"The gang functions in a hierarchy. I'm sure Black Sun does too." Jeonghan explains, Seungcheol nodding along. "I contemplated running away when I was fifteen, but I didn't. Mingyu, Hansol and the other boys joining gave me even more of a reason not to leave on my own." 

"You got attached to them." 

"I did," Jeonghan's shoulders sag. "Was it a bad idea?" he voices aloud, not knowing why he's even seeking Seungcheol's opinion. 

"Probably. But it's not like you could've stopped yourself from caring about them." Seungcheol says. "Human emotions don't work like that." 

Jeonghan nods, "I resented the higher-ups of the gang, but I didn't disobey them. The consequences were too... drastic. It's baffling enough I got let off the hook when I defended Chan." 

Seungcheol stares at him. "You know, Jeonghan, Jisoo is offering you a very generous deal. Of course considering Black Sun's infamy, you can already guess how Jisoo obtained such a notorious title. He's prone to very brutal methods if he chooses to. Everyone in Black Sun may understandably own a sense of fear towards him, but at the same time they all respect him."

He crosses a leg over the other, leaning back against his swivel chair. "With respect comes loyalty, and with loyalty comes devotion. I won't lie to you that Jisoo can be ruthless and manipulative. He's like all the other mafia leaders or probably even worst, but he does it for the sake of the organisation and its members. He's young, but his control over the mafia has significantly expanded its assets and connections in just a short few years."

_With respect comes loyalty, and with loyalty comes devotion._

Jeonghan did respect the gang once upon a time. They'd saved him from dying on the streets. His so called loyalty and commitment was birthed from being afraid of the consequences. There was never devotion, given that the loyalty other people saw was false. 

"He gave me three days to think about it." 

"Three days too long, I think." Seungcheol huffs. "Anyways," a small grin makes its way onto his lips. Jeonghan is already dreading his next words. "I think you and Minghao would get along well."

"Minghao?" Jeonghan looks at him incredulously, not expecting to hear the name of the boy who holds such a blatant dislike towards him. But in all fairness Jeonghan had injured and insulted him, and Minghao had tried to shoot Hansol. It was even. "He literally hates me."

Seungcheol's eyebrow raises. "That can change." he says, "He's only a year younger than you. You should try talking to him, traumatised child assassin to fellow traumatised child assassin. You could potentially become best friends."

"Do you even hear yourself speak?" Jeonghan scoffs. "I've only seen Minghao a handful of times, but it's obvious he seems to really hate people."

"He does. But can you blame him?" Seungcheol explains, "He has a guerilla attack force under his command, is Black Sun's most skilled assassin and Jisoo's right-hand. Like you, he's also gone through a lot of shit and he's only eighteen. I feel like you'd be able to relate a lot to him." 

"That's not a guarantee he'll want to talk to me nor does it mean I want to get close to him or anything, but I'll try." Jeonghan sighs. From what Seungcheol said, Minghao seems to have a lot on his plate. 

"You should. Maybe even try to get to know him, since he's so closed off from other people. He's very loyal to Jisoo though. He doesn't take any bullshit from anyone but him. Jisoo's his former mentor, and he sometimes worries about him since Minghao tends to overwork himself. He's one of the few who calls him Shua."

"If he opens up to you, perhaps he'll open up to even more people excluding just Jisoo and I." Seungcheol continues. "Maybe Mingyu or Hansol for example. Then he can join your merry band consisting of mentally scarred teenage boys." 

"Oh my god," Jeonghan's tempted to throw something at him. Ignoring Seungcheol's laughter, he gets up to check on Hansol, who's been sleeping for hours. It'd be best for him to get a lot of rest anyway. Jeonghan's relieved to see the relaxed expression on Hansol's sleeping face. He doesn't squirm, tremble or whimper in his sleep anymore, unlike how he did a few years ago when he had frequent nightmares. 

"I was told we could stay in the headquarters for the three days he's given me to think about his offer. Will we spend the night in the infirmary?" Jeonghan asks. Eventually, he'll wake up Hansol soon and discuss the matter at hand, albeit Mingyu says Hansol would definitely say the same thing he said. 

"Sure. There's spare beds anyway." Seungcheol answers. "You guys can stay here. But please, don't touch or move anything in the infirmary while I'm not around. I don't like people snooping around my stuff. I have a system with my things I need to maintain here." 

With how much Seungcheol has irked him, Jeonghan secretly considers it. But just a few hours ago he'd seen Seungcheol effortlessly twirl a scalpel and pierce the sharp tip into the surface of his wooden table before deciding it's not worth it.

Seungcheol may be grinning and speaking to him in such a laid back manner now, but he's still a member of the mafia nonetheless and within Jisoo's inner circle. He kind of doesn't want to find out what will happen if Seungcheol's ire is invoked.

Besides, Jeonghan has much more things to be concerned about as of now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote half of this at 3am so it's pretty shitty lol 
> 
> School will be reopening in a few months, so let's hope I can write as many chapters as I can while I still have the time before I get busy again ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> Twitter: @uselessentity_
> 
> (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


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